I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize