Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
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Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
They have beer where we have blood.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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