Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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