he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize