a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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