we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize