you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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