Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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