3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize