Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize