i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize