I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he puts the penis in happiness.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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