so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
My vagina just clenched in fear
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize