four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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