ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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