Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
what day is it and did you see me today?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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