you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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