Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize