Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
i out mim tonsoeep
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize