i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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