I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
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Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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