Already got asked if we're dating
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
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Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize