Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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