I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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