You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize