Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
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rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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