Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much rum. So many feels.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize