She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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