I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i just google imaged poop.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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