Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize