i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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