Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Randomize