Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
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i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
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You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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