WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize