the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
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2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize