well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
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Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
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it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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