our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
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It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
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Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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