I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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