How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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