yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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