She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
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