Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
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I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
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I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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