of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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