Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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