it's too hot outside to masturbate.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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