goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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