went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
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This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
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She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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