I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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