What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
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Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
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We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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