i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
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There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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